Maveli Goes Offline

 

Maveli, sitting dejectedly in Paatalam, wonders why his annual visit to Bhoolokam is no longer generating the excitement it once did.

 His PA arrives.

 PA: “Maharajan, you have received a message through WhatsApp.”

Maveli: “WhatsApp? Is that some new kind of weapon?”

 

PA: “No, Rajan. It is how people communicate now.”

Maveli: “But we have messengers.”

PA: “Yes, Maharajan. But WhatsApp has now replaced them. And unlike your messengers, it needs no salary, no holidays, and no retirement benefits.”

 

Maveli is flabbergasted by the dizzying developments in Bhoolokam. The kingdom he once knew is no longer the same. He urges his assistant to understand and brief him on the latest trends and customs there, so that he can communicate with his subjects during the meet-and-greet programmes held across his kingdom as part of the Onam festivities.

 

His PA, who has already gathered the necessary data, hands him an instruction manual complete with cheat codes and emergency abbreviations. 

 

Maveli: “What does LOL mean?”

PA: “This is one of the Gen-Z talking codes. It means ‘Laughing Out Loud.’”

Maveli: “And ROFL?”

PA: “‘Rolling On the Floor Laughing.’”

Maveli: “Why would anyone roll on the floor to laugh?”

PA: “Maharajan, these are Gen-Z people. Remember, we stopped asking why long ago.”

 

He then finds BRB, IDK, POV, FOMO, TBH, OMG, and several others on the list.

 

Maveli: “BRB sounds like something used for burping.”

PA: “Oh no, Your Majesty! LOL, ROFL! BRB is ‘Be Right Back.’”

 

Maveli tries not to reveal his embarrassment in front of his PA and, with majesty, says:

 “BTW, I shall return to Bhoolokam tomorrow.”

PA: “Maharajan, you cannot use BTW like that.”

Maveli: “Why not?”

PA: “Because nobody uses it seriously anymore. They use ICYMI — ‘In Case You Missed It’ — or FYI — ‘For Your Information’. And then there are transition phrases like TBH — ‘To Be Honest’ — and NGL — ‘Not Gonna Lie’ — depending on the context.”

 

Eventually, Maveli and his PA arrive at a rather alarming conclusion: although they have accounts on various social media platforms, they need to understand Instagram, YouTube, WhatsApp, reels, and memes before Maveli can make his grand comeback to Bhoolokam. Lest Maveli look less like the majestic demon king Mahabali and more like a complete moron.

 

Maveli suddenly remembers that he had received a message on WhatsApp.

 

Maveli: “What does the message on WhatsApp say?”

His PA reads it aloud.

 PA: “Maveli, are you coming this Onam?”

 

Maveli is thrilled.

Maveli: “See! My people still remember me!”

 

Then another message arrives:

 “Bro, u coming?”

 

Maveli is confused by the word “bro”.

 

His PA explains: “It is a term of affection, Rajan.”

Maveli: “But I am their king. They should show respect!”

PA: “Not anymore. Your kingdom is a democratic world now. All are equal. And apparently, everyone is now a ‘bro’.”

 

Maveli is lost in thought.

 

Finally comes the much-awaited Bhoolokam visit of Maveli during Onam, the brief period granted to him by Vamana.

 

Maveli is all decked up in his customary attire, with the golden crown adorning his head. His PA walks one step behind him. They both swish into Kerala’s coast.

 

Maveli expects to see the beautiful, harmonious Kerala he remembers. He eagerly looks around for his subjects to welcome him with the familiar Onam song, ‘Maveli naadu vaneedum kaalam.’ He imagines his people, along with their family and friends, inviting him home for a lavish Onasadya.

 

Instead, he finds:

everyone staring at their phones; people complaining about everything while posting “Happy Onam”; relatives communicating through forwarded messages; people taking selfies rather than looking at one another; food being photographed before it is eaten; children teaching elders how to use Instagram.

 

And in the midst of all this chaos and confusion, someone pushes Maveli aside, shouting:

“Dude, move! You’re blocking my reel.”

 

But, noticing Maveli’s aristocratic attire, the reel-maker quickly tries to pacify him and persuade him to feature in his video.

“Bro! You look exactly like Maveli!”

 

Maveli proudly declares:

“I am Maveli.”

 

And our humble Maveli himself becomes a social-media sensation within minutes. More young and old gather around him, posing for selfies and shooting videos for reels.

 

Maveli, however, soon grows exhausted. Not a single person has even bothered to offer him a glass of payasam. Our Maveli, who has been managing his lifestyle disease with great pride, can no longer tolerate his hunger. His sugar level drops.

 

His PA, finding his weary Maharajan in distress, teleports him back to Paatalam.

 

There, Maveli and his PA remain spellbound, reflecting on all that has happened in Bhoolokam.

 

After a long silence, Maveli speaks:

 “Perhaps Vamana knew what was coming. He did not send me away from my people. He saved me from what they were going to become.”

 

Maveli decides:

 “Let them celebrate Onam. I am quite content here.”

PA: “So, Maharajan, shall I cancel your return?”

 

Maveli looks at his phone. Another WhatsApp message has arrived. His phone has been beeping incessantly with message notifications. Maveli switches it off.

 

Maveli: “Yes. And send my regards to Vamana.”

 

His PA smiles.

 PA: “Vamos, Vamana?”

 

Maveli smiles.

 Maveli: “Vamos, Vamana!”

© Anjana Premkumar 2026